Hi, my name is Firda, I’m in my late 30s and I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. I’m jealous of people younger than me who seem to have everything figured out. Great careers. Jobs that pay well. Making money doing things they love. Actually, I’m not really jealous of the great careers and well-paying jobs. I’m jealous of those who get to make good money doing things they love and get recognized for it. It’s like having it all!

I may not know what I want to be when I grow up, but I know what I want to do. I want to make money taking pretty pictures of trees and making silly creatures out of scrap fabric. It doesn’t even have to be a lot of money. I’m used to being poor. Hell, I always feel out of place in fancy restaurants (though I suspect it’s mostly due to self-worth/self- esteem issues, thanks to the constant put downs while growing up in Indonesia). But it would be nice to make just enough money so we can go on a vacation once a year. We haven’t been on a real vacation since 2007.

Do you have a favourite tree? Do you think that a lot of people have a favourite tree? Do you think people with a favourite tree would hire a photographer to photograph it? I mean, if people are willing to pay photographers to photograph their pets, why won’t they hire one to photograph their favourite trees? I know what you’re thinking. Crazy idea. Ingenious, but crazy, and would require a team of highly-motivated marketers to sell, which I obviously can’t afford. But realistically thinking aside, it is something that I’d like to do. I love trees. I think they’re pretty.

Now the making silly creatures out of scrap fabric part of my dream career. It’s tough because all the good, silly creature ideas are already taken. Maybe I should connect it with the tree-loving side of me so instead of making silly creatures, I make plush trees out of scrap fabric. Hey, that could work! The only thing is, would anyone really buy plush trees? Would you? I bet people would rather buy plush robots than plush trees. I do like plush robots. Maybe make plush trees with a side of robots? Or plush robotic trees? Now I’m getting too crazy.

This past weekend, my friend Kim, who recently started a blog of her own (go check it out!), suggested that I write a children book illustrated with my own photos. I like the idea. I could try to write a children book with characters made from scrap fabric. Wouldn’t that be cute? Maybe I could start with short stories a la My Milk Toof. Maybe? I just like to be creative. Being creative makes me happy. If only I could make good money out of it. Sigh.

By the way, I came up with an excellent moneymaking idea this weekend, which is to sell Stratford soil in a vial that can be used as a pendant to stupid Justin Bieber fans. (If you don’t know it already, Justin Bieber is our town’s export. Sorry about that.) But do I really want to rely my earnings on Justin Bieber’s popularity? No, not really. Especially since I’m really hoping for his popularity to decline very soon.

Did you know that my blog was once named the web’s best home for ideas that never seem to materialize? Fact!

PS. In case you don’t use a feed reader to read blogs, I also have a link blog and a cooking inspiration blog at Tumblr that you might find interesting.

My mother always enjoyed spending time with me, but I think, if she was alive, she would enjoy it even more now because we’d have more shared interests than we ever had before she passed away:

1. Gardening. My mother was an avid gardener. No plants could die under her supervision. I could never be as good at gardening as she was, but I try.
2. Sewing. One of my favourite memories is of me falling asleep on her bed while she was sitting and sewing beside me. She sewed everything by hand!
3. Mid-century modern furniture. I grew up in a house full of mid-century modern furniture. I believe my mother picked our pieces of furniture. She got great taste.
4. Doctor Who. My mother watched the show when she was living in England in the 60s. She’d make Doctor Who references every now and then that I wished I’d understood, but I never watched any Doctor Who until I got to Canada.
5. Do-it-yourself projects. My mother always said that if you want anything done right, you do it yourself. It was her mantra and it’s become mine, too.
6. The colour green. But I don’t think she’d approve of the shades of green I picked for our living room walls. Too bright for her taste.

Oh, we’d have so much to talk about.

I miss her.

10 years ago today, I posted my first blog post under the Weblog Wannabe moniker. We at Casa Troy and Firda are celebrating this 10th blogiversary by, uh, not doing much.

I’m also feeling a little depressed because yesterday during an eye exam with an optometrist I was diagnosed with glaucoma. I don’t have tunnel vision yet so hopefully it’s still in its early stage. We’ll find out for sure once I undergo the field of vision test, scheduled for April, on the day after my birthday. Excellent timing, eh? Going blind is one of my biggest fears. Glaucoma’s nickname is “the silent thief of vision.” See why I’m freaking out? I pretty much live to share what I see. That’s why I blog. That’s why I take pictures.

Anyway, not really in a celebratory mood today but I’d like to call today the Weblog Wannabe Reader Unlurking Day! According to Feedburner, I have over 500 readers but my comment count seems to disagree with it. So if you feel like cheering me up a bit, leave a comment. Let me know how long you you’ve been reading. It’ll make my day!