On TV Medical Dramas

Ducks on Blue

I hate hospitals. They bring back bad memories. I do have good memories of the births of my nephew and niece but the bad memories seem to outweigh good ones. Strangely enough, I just can't stop watching Grey's Anatomy. It's not really my most favourite TV show, but it's up there. I know that in reality doctors don't really have time to dedicate to a patient's personal affairs, but in the show they do. I think that's the reason I keep watching. Because unlike the doctors who treated my mum at the hospital prior to her death, the doctors in the show care about the patients and their families. And when a patient dies, they don't tell the family "You did know it was coming, right?" like the doctor who declared my mum's death did. They'd say they're sorry and mean every words. For an hour every week, I see doctors they way I wanted the doctors who treated my mum to be. Warm and caring.

Obviously I still have issues with the circumstances surrounding my mum's death. How we couldn't afford to keep her in the intensive care unit. How incompetent the nurses outside the intensive care were. How I had to watch my mum stop breathing and die. How when the doctor finally showed up, it was already too late. How I had to wash my mum's dead body before her funeral. How no one gave me a hug. The list of issues could go on and on forever, I could write a book on it. No wonder I still have nightmares and flashbacks five years later. I should've seen a grief counsellor but there was no such thing in Indonesia. Not that I knew of anyway. I wonder if it's too late to see one now. Probably is.

Not a happy post, but it's a post. Let's see if anyone would leave any comments. :)

4 Comments

  1. Lance
    November 14, 2008

    I’m think­ing of going to med school because I’ve grown in love with hos­pi­tals; and I think that to be a doc­tor, one shouldn’t sep­a­rate emo­tion­al care from pro­fes­sion­al work. Both should go togeth­er. Doc­tors shouldn’t treat their patients with indif­fer­ence; they are peo­ple after all. I have no idea how it felt like to see your moth­er breathe her last, but I do know that the doc­tor who treat­ed her could’ve done bet­ter. Thanks for this eye-open­er.

    Reply
  2. tia
    November 14, 2008

    Nev­er too late for ther­a­py. I was see­ing a ther­a­pist for over 2 years talk­ing about my moth­er. Thank God, insur­ance paid! At least half of it.

    Reply
  3. Sarah
    November 14, 2008

    It’s hon­est­ly not too late — I’m only just start­ing to deal with things, and in many ways still not deal­ing with them at all (I’m with you on the night­mares and flash­backs). In many ways, the tim­ing was so sim­i­lar for both of us that I some­times feel you might be the only per­son on Earth who also under­stands where I am right now.
    If you’re able to find/get/afford (not sure how the sys­tem works in Canada) some­one safe and neu­tral to talk to and get help from, do. You know she wouldn’t want you to be suf­fer­ing like this and to get to the place where it’s the hap­py mem­o­ries that win out. xxx

    Reply
  4. jenn
    November 14, 2008

    It’s nev­er too late. Grief doesn’t just dry up and blow away in the wind.
    Go see some­one. You owe it to your­self.

    Reply

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