Home Sweet Home

Twilight Sky

Well, I’ve been back from the trip since Fri­day night but then I had to start get­ting all stressed out about the med­ical check-up I had to go through on Tues­day for immi­gra­tion pur­pos­es (which went well, by the way) and then I’ve been busy putting togeth­er my appli­ca­tion for Cana­di­an per­ma­nent res­i­den­cy, which is sup­posed to be sent in ear­ly next week. It’s a busy time in Firda­land. I’ve been so busy that I’ve got real­ly behind in pro­cess­ing the 7 GB worth of pic­tures that I took dur­ing the trip, plus the two rolls of 35mm film that have been processed and scanned into a CD by the pho­to­lab (thank God!). Still have yet to drop off the two rolls of 120 film for pro­cess­ing. And I still have a roll of 120 neg­a­tive from before the trip that needs to be scanned. Hope­ful­ly some time next week I’ll be able to catch up with my pho­tog­ra­phy.

I had an amaz­ing trip out west. Saw a lot of wildlife, except for moose and bears. I’ve seen more bears in a dump in Ontario (about half a dozen) than in the Cana­di­an Rock­ies or Van­cou­ver Island (zero). But all the elks (lots of them), wolves, deers, pikas, bald eagle, sea lions, sea otters, por­pois­es, and hump­back whales I saw kind of made up for the lack of moose and bears. And I took tonnes of pic­tures of the ever so mes­mer­iz­ing jel­ly­fish at the Van­cou­ver Aquar­i­um. I love jel­ly­fish, but I don’t think I’d want to come across them in the wild because they sting.

Hmm, I don’t know why I start­ed writ­ing this entry. I don’t usu­al­ly make much sense late at night. I guess I just need­ed to let you know that I’m home safe and sound and in one piece.

More pic­tures are com­ing up, I promise! In the mean­time, just enjoy the few I’ve uploaded to Flickr.

4 comments / Add your comment below

  1. wel­come back!! that’s great about your cit­i­zen­ship that you final­ly have all the required papers.
    That sky pic­ture is awe­some, how did you get it so clear through the air­plane win­dow. Hope to see you and Troy soon

  2. Thanks, Matt. Cit­i­zen­ship is still a long way. Right now I’m just work­ing on becom­ing a per­ma­nent res­i­dent.
    As for the pic­ture, I had to clean the win­dow first because it was smudgy! Then I shot with UV and Cir­cu­lar Polar­iz­er fil­ters attached to the lens. Fair­ly sim­ple.
    We might see you at your par­ents place this week­end. We left the bag with all my doc­u­ments there before the trip and for­got to pick it up last week­end. Smart, eh? ;)

  3. Actu­al­ly she only had the UV fil­ter — we didn’t buy the cir­cu­lar polar­iz­er until we were in Jasper. Though I think part of the clear­ness of the pic­ture is due to the “image sta­bi­liz­er” on the lens Fir­da was using.

Leave a Reply

Home Sweet Home

Not hav­ing a moth­er any­more, I used to get upset when I see some­one talk­ing to his/her moth­er in a less than pleas­ant way. I used to think that they don’t know how lucky he/she is to still have a moth­er. But then I gave it more thought and decid­ed that it was me who got lucky to have a moth­er like mine. A moth­er who was not just a moth­er, but also a friend. She was my best friend, my part­ner-in-crime, the per­son who under­stood me the most. Why do you think I haven’t got over her death after all these years?

My moth­er was the heart of the house. After she died, home just didn’t feel like home any­more. It was a house, yes. But def­i­nite­ly not home. My moth­er was home. That’s why I didn’t have any objec­tion when my broth­er asked me if he could rent out my bed­room to some col­lege stu­dent a cou­ple of months ago. What­ev­er. It was just a room. Only now does it hit me that if I did go ‘home’, I wouldn’t have a room to stay any­more. And I thought I would always have at least a room to return to, no mat­ter how long I’d been away. But my broth­er could use the mon­ey and I prob­a­bly wouldn’t go back to Indone­sia in years so…

I guess it is offi­cial now that home is wher­ev­er my beloved hus­band and I live. Cur­rent­ly, it’s Water­loo. Who knows where it will be in the future. It might not be my native land or the place where I grew up. But it is home, because this is where my heart is. And that’s all that real­ly mat­ters.

7 comments / Add your comment below

  1. This post defi­nate­ly tugged at my heart­strings. My mom was also my best friend. It’s been near­ly a decade since she passed and there isn’t a day when I don’t miss her. It’s espe­cial­ly dif­fi­cult when I’m going through tri­als or tri­umps.

  2. My father passed away 5 years ago.. so I am tru­ly under­stand what you mean when you get so upset to see oth­ers treat their par­ents less in a pleas­ant way :(
    Hi Fir­da.. :)

  3. yeah, i know what you mean. grow­ing up all over the world, indone­sia some­how nev­er meant home to me. home was where my par­ents were. now home is the lit­tle flat i share with my hus­band :)
    although some­times i wish i could just crawl into my par­ents’ bed when i’m not feel­ing well :(

  4. I lost my moth­er four years ago. She was my best friend and con­fi­dent; my strength and my mir­ror. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about her. When I meet new peo­ple, I feel sor­ry for them because they won’t get to know her.
    I total­ly under­stand your feel­ings.

  5. I’m lucky my par­ents are still there. But I didn’t have my ‘home’ any­more. It’s the house where I grew up. I still don’t know why I’m unable to call oth­er places home…

  6. Hi:
    It is hard los­ing your mom. I lost my mom at 67 years of age, on Dec 13/05, I also had a new­born baby daugh­ter on Nov 13/05 she is so pre­cious and when mom was in the hos­pi­tal atleast she got to hold her. She died of Pnemo­nia after fight­ing bad nerves for 2 years and lost too much weight to fight it. We were best friends too, and I want­ed her to be around for the baby, as I also have a 9 year old son and she adored him. We live in Alber­ta now for over 22 years and the rest of the fam­i­ly is in Ontario, so now I am very lone­ly all the time, my hus­band is a great help but works long 12 hour shifts day/night. I still cry for my mom every­day and I am on anti­de­pres­sants to try and help, seing grief coun­sel­lor too. I wish it wouldn’t hurt so bad every­day and I can’t wait for it to start lift­ing abit. I am 40 yrs old and it is so hard to loose your mom at any age. When did you find that it got eas­i­er? I still have to pack up her house too, that is going to be sooo hard. I have some­one watch­ing my lit­tle girl two days a week, until I get a lit­tle bet­ter, I am lucky as she is a hap­py girl and has grand­mas eyes, I just miss her help so much. And felt guilty that I had to put her into the hos­pi­tal, but she got so weak at home with us and was falling allot. The day she died I flew my two Aunts her sis­ters out-I am an only child and told her it was o.k to let go, she was non respon­sive and on oxy­gen at the time, but start­ed shak­ing her head no and start­ed to have tears come down her cheecks. That image is still in my head and I hate it she passed away 15 min­utes after my and baby left with my Aunts with her. Her doc­tor was not the great­est also, didn’t give her any anit­bi­otics until the sec­ond day of her pnemo­nia, they think she choked on a pill and that caused the pnemo­nia in the lungs. I nev­er thought she would die, and when the baby was born she begged me to come into the hos­pi­tal but it was win­ter and late at night I feel so much guilt over that too. But what can you do? I guess time is a great heal­er, I know and hope she is watch­ing over us. sounds sil­ly but I wish she could tell me she is o.k. It is a long road isn’t it. Well, know that I chat­ted your ear off. Hope to hear from you soon. Take care of your­self.

Leave a Reply