I've been feeling depressed about this lately. See, all my life the only approvals I ever got came from my mum. Never from my dad. My dad always disapproved of everything I did because I did things my way, not the way the daughters of his friends would do, which was the only way to get his approval.

Lately I've been aching to hear someone from my side of the family to tell me that they're happy to know that I'm happy and that they're proud of everything I've achieved in my life but alas, no such luck. Only my mum would say that kind of thing and she's dead. It kind of sucks.

Anyway, I just need to get that off my chest. Sorry for being depressing. Next entry will be happyish, I promise.


  1. HalfWayAroundtheWorld
    May 25, 2007

    Well, I don’t know how this might help you, but, there is a sto­ry that I read in school

    Dur­ing the colo­nial times (in my coun­try), there was a young wom­an who fought for free­dom, She was jailed, and tor­tured for her activ­i­ties.
    How­ev­er, her father was very crit­i­cal of her and dis­ap­proved of what­ev­er she did.
    Once, when she was released from jail, her father came to the train sta­tion to receive her. He was a lit­tle embar­rassed to see his daugh­ter, but he came any­way.
    In the sta­tion, hun­dreds of her sup­port­ers and admir­ers came to see her.
    It was then that her father real­ized that he should be proud of her and there were tears in his eyes.

    What am I try­ing to say?
    Try to show your dad how much you mean to oth­ers, and how much appre­ci­at­ed you are.
    As far as I know, that is the only way to please my dad. :)

  2. Dave2
    May 25, 2007

    Some­body needs choco­late pud­ding!
    I’ve found choco­late pud­ding can help to make me hap­py on even my most depress­ing days. :-)

  3. Missy
    May 26, 2007

    Inter­net HUG! :-)

  4. cris
    May 26, 2007

    I’m real­ly sor­ry this mes­sage has noth­ing to do with your post but I have an exper­i­ment to do and your arti­cle “How To Make A Slit Cam­era Cheap­ly” could help me a lot.
    Please could you send it to me ? Thank you.

  5. Bernie
    May 27, 2007

    My heart aches for you. Let me tell you why in a min­ute. First of all I was so hap­py to find your trans­par­ent .gifs last night. I was frus­trat­ed try­ing to cre­ate a translu­cent table in a CSS. Thank you.
    Sec­ond­ly, I have a moth­er and father who were unavail­able emo­tion­al­ly. My moth­er hurts the worst. I cre­at­ed a beau­ti­ful blog about the Library of Con­gress and how much I love it. I wrote to the LOC to make sure it was okay to use the pub­lic domain prints and the direc­tor of com­mu­ni­ca­tions there wrote me. He even likes it. It is at It is my most cher­ished project.
    When I told my moth­er about it her atti­tude was (as always) “That’s nice.” She didn’t even ask what the address was. She will nev­er look at it. She is dis­in­ter­est­ed in any­thing I do. This caus­es me con­stant pain and it took years of work­ing with the pain to deal with it.
    My father passed away long ago and I do miss him, he was just in his own world. My moth­er plain doesn’t care.
    Just remem­ber that oth­ers have been through things like this too. I wish I could tell you how to find relief for that kind of wound, but I can’t. I can only tell you that I am hap­py to have found your blog and you helped me twice. First with the back­ground and sec­ond­ly by just talk­ing about your hurts.
    I put you on my blog roll.
    Bernie Lee

  6. susi
    May 28, 2007

    Beka, dear big hug for you.

  7. dini
    May 28, 2007

    Beka, just keep smile … we always love you … kan­gen ma jail loe .…

  8. Mummy's Girl
    June 24, 2007

    I am not a mem­ber of your fam­i­ly, tech­ni­cal­ly speak­ing — but if you’d like to think of me as one, I’d be hap­py to tell you: I think you’re doing an AMAZING job wth your work and your life! ;)

  9. b2sch
    July 11, 2007

    And here is my mes­sage to all par­ents read­ing this: Now, go and tell your chil­dren how much you like what they do. Repeat this three times a day.


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