Weblog Wannabe

One of my pet peeves is being asked how I am because most of the time I'm not fine and if I said I'm fine, that would be lying. Yeah, I know. I'm so complicated. ♥

I graduated from university in February 1997. The graduation ceremony was probably one of the smallest graduation ceremonies ever took place at the university in its history.

I felt kind of lonely during the ceremony despite the fact that there were hundreds of other graduates. I graduated before most of my classmates did so there wasn't really all that many people to celebrate it with. My best friends didn't show up until after the ceremony, and my crush, who had promised to come, didn't show up at all.

And there was no one to give me flowers.

My parents, brothers, and I went to a restaurant after the ceremony to celebrate. My dad just had to make a big fuss over the bill with the waiter before we left, which put me in a bad mood. I still remember how much he had to pay that day. I'd pay him back if he wanted me to.

My graduation day was so bad that when one of my best friends graduated, I decided to come early to the venue to make sure that it was going to be much better than mine. I even cared enough to buy her some flowers.

I really don't know what made me think that her graduation day was going to be as bad as mine. It turned out to be perfect, which was good for her. I kind of regret buying her flowers because she obviously didn't need any more. She already got a big bunch from her family and boyfriend.

I so want to have someone to buy me flowers that every time I have some cash to spare, I always spend it on flowers to give to my mum, hoping that it would bring me good karma or something. I'm still waiting patiently for that good karma. ♥

Thursday Evening Haiku

The rain was falling
It didn't make the hot day
Any more cooler.

I baked a banana caramel loaf today. It tasted kind of weird, but the rest of the family liked it. I think a fresh banana tastes much better than it and looks much better, too. But oh well, at least it didn't end up in the waste basket. I know I'm a bad cook but I always refuse to follow any recipe by the letter. And that's how I come up with all sort of weird-tasting and weird-looking, somewhat edible food. Go me! ♥

Someone suggested that I talk about all-you-can-eat buffets. Well, one thing that really bothers me about all-you-can-eat buffets is how the people who eat there can get so greedy and take too much of everything and not eating them up. It is such a waste. There are so many starving children in the world, yet so many people who can afford food are wasting it just because they can. Just because they don't have to pay extra for it. I think the management really should charge the customers for all the wasted/uneaten food. There is such warning of charge for uneaten food at Hartz's Chicken Buffets here but in reality, it's only an empty threat. What a shame. ♥

I just tweaked the CSS (again!) so I need your feedback (again!). What can I say. Tweaking CSS is my favourite pastime, now that I can't play the role of link finder anymore since my internet access is very limited. So tell me. Does IE6 still like this page? Does Opera still doesn't like the left column? Does the right column still fall down in IE5/Mac and Netscape 6? Is there a horizontal scrollbar? Hmm? ♥

This morning, when I was barely awake, I heard my mum screaming hysterically. Apparently, there was a lizard in her bedroom. From the way she screamed, I thought the lizard was as large as a komodo, or at least an iguana. As it turned out, the lizard was only around one feet long and as big as a pencil.

For some reasons, I had to be the one to throw the poor lizard out of the house. I didn't want to kill it and I didn't really feel like picking it up and throw it away, so what I did was I gave it a ride on my broom out of the house and straight to the neighbour's lawn. (Yes, I am a witch.)

While we were on our way out, we bumped into my big brother and he started screaming like a sissy at the sight of the lizard. See why I had to be the one to get rid of it? ♥

Wednesday Afternoon Haiku

Two days without rain
I really wish I could say
I don't miss the rain.

I've been taking care of my brother's pet turtles for almost a week now while he and his wife are at work, and it's been pretty much like taking care of pet rocks. Taking care of their baby had better be more exciting than this.

Anyway, I think the little green turtles hate me. Every time they see me, one will immediately hide its head under its shell and the other will snort. Really snort. If it were human, it'd probably spit at the sight of me. The turtle hates me that much. I don't know why. I feed them well. But apparently it's not enough reason for them to like me. I guess turtles have very high standards. ♥

I need more topics to bitch about *hint, hint!* Anyway, a couple of nights ago, I dreamed that I finally got to hug my mum. My family is not the hugging kind, mind you. I've always wanted to hug my mum because I know just how hard her life is. I thought a hug might be able to ease her pain or something. But I'm afraid she'd think there was something wrong with me if I hugged her. In my dream, I just hugged her, told her that I'd always wanted to do that, she smiled, I smiled, and then I woke up. Maybe I should really hug my mum one of these days. I could use a hug myself. ♥

I'm blogging this from an internet cafe at a nearby mall and my next booth neighbour is busy looking at porns. The last time I caught a glimpse of his screen, he was watching a video of "zebra sex". Bwahahaha!!! Anyway, I went here just so that I could surf around for some inspirations for a design. I can't do it at home because my dad is home most of the time, guarding his precious phone line, and my blue-tinted, 16-bit monitor is just hopeless. Everything looks ugly there.

By the way, I just got a good news from Rebecca. She said the Firda-Aid funds are already in her bank account and she's going to transfer it to my bank account on Thursday. Yay! Now if only I could find a way to make $100, I'd be able to get my phone line back real soon and I'd be happily blogging again. That would definitely be one of the happiest days in my life :) ♥

I've been dreaming about CSS lately, for obvious reason. Last night the dream got a bit too extreme. I dreamed that Tom sent some hitmen to kill me because my site didn't work in IE5 for Macs. The hitman leader actually told me that before he ordered his folks to shoot me. He said, "Tom Coates sent me to kill you because your weblog looks ugly in IE5 for Macs." I didn't die, though. I miraculously got away. Maybe I should seek revenge in my dream tonight. Heh. ♥

Tuesday Morning Haiku

Been too blah to blog
I'm blogging in the morning
Hope I'd feel better.

I've been trying to come up with some original ideas for the design of the client's site (client -- ha!) but my mind just keeps on going blank. It's funny because if I didn't do it for money, ideas just kept on flowing. I dunno. Maybe I shouldn't think of it as a way to make money but rather think of it as a way to help a friend. Or maybe I should just give it up since my blue-tinted, 16-bit monitor really doesn't fit to be used on such heavy tasks as designing. But I desperately need the money, dammit! Grrr. This is so frustrating. ♥

I've been pretty happy these last couple of days because things have started looking up. I hope it won't get worse again and that things can only get better and better. I still have no luck in the job front, but I might have got myself a web design gig. A friend is considering outsourcing a design job to me. If it worked, I'd get more than enough money to pay the rest of my debts. But it's not definite yet. I'll keep you posted. ♥

I rewrote the CSS for this site last night so I need your feedback again. How does it look in your browser? Does it look better in Opera? If this works in most browsers, I'd be able to fix all the layouts in my CSS site and make them crossbrowser as well. I'd really appreciate your feedback. ♥

Saturday Evening Haiku

Only a drizzle
Not enough to start a flood
Good Mother Nature.

The morning was pretty cold these last couple of days. Cold enough to make me have to wear a scarf around my neck to prevent me from coughing myself to death. My lungs are a bit allergic to cold air. Still, that doesn't make me want to give up my dream to live in a place with a lot of snow. I just want to live away from the mosquitoes for a change. Anyway, my rather brother thinks I look cute with the scarf on so I guess it's a blessing in disguise. Or something. Heh.. ♥

If Hollywood was casting a movie about me, the actress I'd chose to be me would be Janeane Garofalo. Why? Because she rocks, and I think I look like the Asian version of her. Heh. Yeah, I hear you. I wish. Thanks for the suggestion, Vikki! ♥

From all the feedback I've got about the CSS site, I can conclude that there are three kinds of people: those who see a problem and complain about it without doing anything to solve it, those who see a problem and do something about it or at least help solving it, and those who don't see any problem and are just happy to see something new. Which category do you belong to? ;) ♥

Yay about the below post! Now I have to start thinking of ways to make some more money to cover the rest of the debts so I could get my phone line back. I'm going to need about $100 more. Any money making idea that you think might work? Or is there anyone who'd be willing to hire me to work at least an hour a day for a month with U.S. minimum wage? Hmm? ♥

Friday Morning Haiku
I dont believe it!
Restriction has been lifted.
Firda - funds coming.

Yes - after one final whinge in one of the other help forms on Paypals site I was asked to send another fax - this time they sent me an email to tell me that they had received it and that it would be about 3 working days before they decided what would happen. So I have logged in every day to see if it has been lifted - and VOILA! IT HAS!!!!!!

So now I can send the money to Firda! They reckon it takes 5-7 business days for the transfering of money to your own bank account too - but hopefully if no more evil problems occur, Firda should have all your donations in a little over a week.

Ah, I shouldnt have said that....will jinx myself. ♥

Blogger was being evil and ate my post and now I only have time to say that there's the Great CSS Challenge over at the new site (already!) and that you wouldn't be want to be seen eating rice with a fork in Indonesia or people would look at you funny. The way it is here, you eat rice with either a spoon or a bare (right) hand. Thank you and have a good day. ♥

CSS Colouring Book is up. Enjoy and spread the word! ♥

When I think about high school, the only good things that come to mind are two people I met in first year: a girl and a guy. We were buddies. We always did group assignments together. I always thought the guy had a crush on the girl. Only now did I realise that the guy's crush was actually on me. And you know what sucks? I've lost contact with him. Haven't heard from him for, like, 5 years.

I really liked him. He was a great guy. He took care of me and looked after me all through the horrible high school years and I was there for him all the time to give him advice on how to approach the girl. I really thought that he hang around me a lot because he wanted to know more about the other girl, and not because he liked me or anything.

Anyway, I don't know what reminded me of him, but I found myself thinking about him just then, and all the pieces just fell into place. He had a crush on me! Wow. Too bad the realisation came a decade late. If only I wasn't so clueless. But then again, I never thought I was crushworthy. ♥

Last night my college best friend called to invite me to her wedding in March. I must think about it a lot before I fell asleep because I dreamed of getting married in my sleep and the groom-to-be was, uh, you know, the date. I've dreamed of getting married before but up until last night, the man I'm going to marry has always been unidentified.

Anyway, on the wedding day, he didn't show up, which is the thing I'd expect to happen if I ever got married so it didn't surprise me. He called me up the next day and asked to meet up with me at the mall so he could explain.

I came to the mall with my brother. I met up with him, had a nice talk, and set another wedding date. We walked to the parking lot on our way out and found that my brother's car had been stolen. And then I woke up. ♥

Yesterday evening, when I was going to blog, I found that my server (or rather, Matt's server) was down for maintenance, so I decided to open Trillian to see if anyone was online. (Trillian doesn't seem to be able to connect to AIM server anymore. How long has it been like that?) Anyway, there was Michel and Emlyn on ICQ, and Michel suggested that I talked about rice.

Rice is the staple food of Indonesian people. We won't call it a meal until we eat rice. We'd just call it a snack. Yeah, I know it's hard to think of steak or spaghetti as snack, but they are, at least to me. Even McDonald's and Wendy's here have rice in their menu just so that we'd call their menu a meal.

Indonesians eat just about anything with rice. Some older Indonesians like to eat steak with rice. A friend of my brother's likes to eat rice mixed with sweet tea, which is quite nauseating to me, but I guess to each his own. I like my rice warm, if not hot. There's actually a story behind it, which you can read somewhere here.

And that's all I can say about rice. Boring, huh? ♥

Wednesday Evening Haiku

Happy birthday to
My dear Weblog Wannabe
Two years old today!

Save for the last couple of weeks with very limited internet access, those were two glorious years. I got to know a lot of great people, learn about a lot of new things, blog a lot of great links... I don't know if this weblog will live to see its third birthday. One can only hope. I can't celebrate the birthday online, and offline the celebration would be quite pointless. So if you could, please celebrate for me :) ♥

Tomorrow I'm going to launch my weblog design site called "CSS Colouring Book". Why? Because all the designs are in black, white, and grey. If you want to use it, you're going to have to colour it yourself.

Anyway, I've decided to make them available for free. (I will only charge for customised designs.) All the designs are tableless and validate as HTML 4.01 Transitional and CSS, and they look good in any screen resolution. Be sure to check back tomorrow!

Oh, in case the person with a website at Geocities who stole my design read this, why don't you delete the design off your server and then check back here tomorrow for the free layouts? I'd really appreciate it. ♥

Someone suggested that I talk about my hair. Well, I have short, black hair that is extremely unmanageable. Whether I comb it or not, my hair always looks as messy as ever. Now that I spend most of my time at home, I rarely bother to comb my hair. Even when I'm going out, I often forget to comb my hair. Not that anyone notices or cares.

I used to have ponytails back in primary school. Every time I see a photograph of the clumsy, little me with the ponytails, Mickey Mouse always comes to mind. Mind you, the ponytails seem so stiff that they resemble Mickey Mouse's ears!

Every day is a bad hair day for me. ♥

Of all the silly commercials I've seen on TV, the ones I hate the most are those that advertise skin whitening products. They make it sound as if it was wrong to have brown skin. We're Indonesians, for God's sake, and Indonesians are supposed to have brown complexion! Doh!

I find it funny that while white people are getting themselves sunburnt from sun bathing, trying to get some colour into their skin, brown-skinned people like us are spending way too much money on skin whitening products. It's just so silly. But I guess the neighbour's grass is always greener. ♥

Sunday Evening Haiku

There were some sun rays
Though the day was quite cloudy
Tomorrow will rain.

I couldn't get online yesterday because brother and sister-in-law were here all day and night. They are not only my father's spies these days, but also his speakers. See, my father has no guts to talk to me directly, so he uses them to talk to me. When they do, they never mention that it's a message from my father, but I can always tell. I'd say, "Message from our sponsor again, eh?" And they'd reluctantly admit it. Heh. Silly them. ♥

Someone was nice enough to email me yesterday and in that email he told me this was not a bad page, which was nice to hear. He also told me that he got to this page by going to Google and search for "personal home page of the dumbest chick on planet earth". I came fifth. How flattering. ♥

There are only two days left out of the Random Acts of Kindness Week, and I still haven't done my share, except for passing the word on. Have you done yours? I think the week is an excellent idea. Just imagine. If everyone in the world did their share, the world would've been a much better place for us to live in, even if it was only for a week And yes, I am a utopist. ♥

I got a Valentine's Day present for the first and last time several years ago from some guy in Australia. It was half a dozen CDs containing music I couldn't understand. They came with a note that says that he sent them to me because those CDs were just wasting space in his room and he had always wanted to get rid of them anyway. And you wonder why I hate Valentine's Day. Heh. ♥

I know I've been begging for emails forever but I haven't replied to most of the emails you sent me, and for that I apologise. My only excuse is that I have nothing interesting to say in reply. I could say something anyway, but I'm afraid it would sound either really insincere or just plain depressing. I promise that when I'm having a good day (which I haven't had since I lost my internet access), or just have something interesting to share, I will get back to you.

Speaking of emails, someone once sent me an email, and in that email, he wrote that I didn't have to reply to it because the email was a gift. That was one of the sweetest gifts I've ever got from anyone :) ♥

Friday Evening Haiku

A day without rain
Quite a rarity these days
The floods should be gone.

I just finished writing a very depressing entry, but then there was a power loss and I lost that entry. I guess it was for the best. If I did post it, I might regret it tomorrow. I hate looking weak. I am weak, but I don't want to look it.

Anyway, tomorrow will be my big brother's big three-oh, and I can't afford to buy him anything. But even if I had some money to spend on a birthday present, it would be pale in comparison with the present he's getting from his wife: a baby. It's priceless. ♥

Did you know that this week is the Random Act of Kindness Week? They need to add "email a lonely person" to the list *hint, hint!* ♥

I need your help. Again. I need you to contribute a colour scheme for me to use in my weblog template designs. Some of you might still remember that my computer monitor can't display colours correctly. That's why I need your help. Just post the hex code of at least two matching colours. I'll just assume that you have good colour coordination and use them. Please pretty please with sugar on top? ♥

The search request of the day is "10 reason on why i love my girl friend". Heh. That was cute. I wish I could tell you why you love your girlfriend, but I really have no idea. You should know better.

I watched "Frankie and Johnny" with Al Pacino and Michelle Pfeiffer on TV several nights ago. In one scene, Frankie asked Johnny why he was in love with her and he said, "I don't know. I just am." I think it's a very good answer, and very romantic. Had Johnny mentioned all the reasons why he was in love with her instead of saying that he didn't know, I probably wouldn't remember that scene. ♥

It's amazing that even though I've stopped posting links, I still get about the same number of visitors daily as I did in the good old days. It makes me wonder if I am really *that* interesting. Do you frequent this joint because you want to see if I've started posting links again or do you just happen to like me my writing?

Another thing I recently noticed is that these days people give me linky love mainly because of my weblog design rather than my content. I'm flattered, really. But I guess it also shows that my weblog content sucks. Hmmph. Gotta do something about it.

And guys, you really should suggest more topics for me to bitch about! ♥

Thursday Evening Haiku

It was cold all day
But now that the evening falls
It's getting warmer.

Yeah, funny kind of weather we have here. It was freezing cold this morning, especially in my room. Cold enough to make me wish we had a heater in the house.

I miss having a geeky talk. I wish someone would me and tell me what's currently hot and what's not in the weblogging world. Are stupid online quizzes still the rage these days?

I think I make too many wishes, mostly for the impossible. No wonder I always get disappointed. ♥

If all goes well, I'm going to be an aunt in 9 months. Sister-in-law is a few weeks pregnant. Wheee!!! If I could be self-employed and work from home, I'd get to take care of the baby while my brother and sister-in-law are working. That would be like having my own baby without all the hassle of being pregnant for 9 months. Fun! Hmmm, gotta stop procrastinating and start employing myself. ♥

I've been using spam-free, encoded email address on my website for almost two months now and so far it works beautifully. I've got 0 spam on both my lemurpants.com and uberduck.net accounts.

A couple of days ago, I started using the javascript version, generated by Hivelogic.com email encoder but it didn't work so well with Blogger because Blogger has issues with ampersand sign, resulting in a javascript error.

My solution to the problem is to strip the <script> tags and save the code as a separate .js file. I save my addresses as lemurpants.js and uberduck.js. Everytime I want to post my email address in my weblog, all I have to do is call the script:

<script type="text/javascript" 
src="lemurpants.js"></script>

I think it's impossible for me not to think about being online when I'm offline, because everywhere I look, there's always something that reminds me of the people I know online.

On the window blinds, there are postcards from Katy, Nikolai, Phil, and Troy as well as a ThinkGeek sticker from Jordan.

On the bookshelf, there are reference books on HTML, JavaScript, and PHP, and a fishtank with my three goldfish called Nikolai, Linux, and Unix. There was one called Jordan but he died last year. I think that was the reason Matt didn't want me to name a goldfish after him *grins*

On top of my television, there are rubberduck keychains from Troy and Joe. And I'm listening to a mixed CD that Troy burnt for me, appropriately entitled "The Offline Quack-O-Matic Soundtrack" as I type.

I'm a sentimental person. Almost everything I own reminds me of someone. ♥

Wednesday Evening Haiku

Dark clouds are hanging
Over my surroundings and
The rain is falling.

I like the rain, but for the sake of the thousands of people all over the country whose homes are currently underwater due to the floods, I'm praying that the rain would take a break for at least a month so that those people could go back home again.

Anyway, I'm feeling really blah right now. I had a pretty good day, but of course my father just had to ruin it. He's really good at ruining my day. I wish I could go online, open Trillian, and talk to someone. I desperately need some cheering up. ♥

My blogday (for the clueless, it's short for weblog birthday) is only 8 days away from today. Weblog Wannabe will turn two years old in February 20. In British date order, the date will be 20-02-2002. It's double 2002! Neato! My only wish is for me to be able to celebrate the blogday by blogging like there's no tomorrow. But from the look of it, it seems impossible. Sigh.

Anyway, if you want to wish me a happy blogday (even if the blogday is guaranteed to suck), you can always send me a snail mail postcard :) That might help to make the day suck a little less. ♥

I signed up for internet access for the first time in March 1997, but the ISP tech support people were a bunch of morons and they didn't help at all in getting me started. Only after I read an article on how to set up internet on Windows and signed up with another ISP two months later did I finally manage to get online. The connection speed was 28.8kbps, which is the same connection speed I have now. I guess I have finally come full circle internetwise. How fun *grumbles*

On a rather unrelated note, does anyone know of any freeware program that can do full page screen shot, PaintShop Pro style? If you do, please let me know. I'd really appreciate it. ♥

Another Tuesday Evening Haiku

I'm baking a cake
Do it every other day
Just to kill the time.

What can I say. The only hobby I have that is not internet-related is baking cakes. I'd bake a cake every day, but then my mother would go bankrupt. Anyway, I'm baking a cheesecake this time. I hope it'll turn up. The batter didn't look very convincing. It was way too thin! ♥

Tuesday Evening Haiku

Paypal sucks big time.
Brick wall? Please meet my forehead.
Behold - frustration.

I hope Firda doesnt mind I stole todays chance to haiku from her. If she does she can always delete it. :) ♥

Hi everyone - i have been meaning to get on here and post about the evilness of Paypal to you all, and let you know what has been happening.

I offered to help Firda out with Firda-Aid because Paypal lets people from Australia use the service, and we are also able to transfer money from Paypal to a personal bank account. I have an account that I never use anyways so the plan was we would raise the money, I would transfer it to my bank account and then I would do an international transfer straight into Firda's account and any fees incurred with that I would absorb.

So I had to change my Paypal account from a basic account to a Premium one so we could do the donation thing. We were all ready to go when I was notified that a restriction had been placed on my account. It said I had to fax them a whole bunch of things to get the restriction lifted.

I sent the fax a couple of weeks ago now and have heard nothing back from Paypal. Not even an email saying they have received my fax and are looking into it. The only contact thing on their website regarding restrictions is a webform that I have filled in a number of times and all I get is a lame-ass automated response.

While your account is restricted you can not transfer money back and forth between your accounts, you cant use your account to pay for auctions on things like Ebay, and strangely enough you cant close your account.

The whole thing has really pissed me off. I cant tell you how upset I am about not being able to help out Firda. Firda and I have agreed, I am going to refund everyones money in the next couple of days. I wish I didnt have to but I would feel bad keeping everyones money indefinately. I think so would Firda.

I want to ask if there is anyone else who could accept the donations for Firda, but I dont know if thats something Firda would want to do after this last debacle.

If anyone knows of a way to get the evil Paypal to lift a restriction promptly can you please tell me. Even if I cant get the money to Frda I would like to use the stupid thing sometime in the future. ♥

I hate how I can't find anything to say about beauty when there are so many aspects of beauty I could talk about. I've witnessed so many ugly things in life that I've got to the point where I can't bear looking at violence and deaths in movies anymore, let alone in the news. That's one of the reasons I don't watch TV much.

The only beauty that I'm still capable of seeing and appreciating is in babies. Babies are beautiful. They are like a representation of all good things in life. I love babies. I wonder if I'll ever have one of my own. ♥

I watched "Sweet November" twice today. Not because I like the stories or the actors, mind you, but more because I'm in love with the girl's apartment. It looks like my dream home. The furnitures. The colours. The atmosphere. Everything about that apartment is perfect. And it's in San Francisco! According to an online quiz, San Francisco is the perfect place for me to live in. I don't believe the results of most online quizzes, but I happen to believe that one :) If only I could afford to move there. Hmmm, I just realised that my San Francisco postcard is missing. Damn. It was one of my favourites... ♥

My younger brother participated in a TV game show this morning. He looked even more darker on TV. Anyway, he had participated in the same game show twice before, with no luck. One would think that he'd have better luck this time. Wrong. He still didn't manage to bring anything home. If I had his general knowledge, I think I'd feel like the most clueless person in the world.

My brother's lucky when it comes to door prizes, though. His bedroom is so full of door prizes. The last thing he won was the latest Samsung cellphone. He sold that cellphone and then bought a Nokia one, which cost only half of the one he won, and saved the rest of the money. Probably for his wedding in July.

As for me, I've never been lucky in things that require luck. You know, things like finding your soulmate. I guess I was born on an unlucky 7 (of April *hint, hint!*). ♥

Monday Evening Haiku

Father should leave home
In only a few minutes
Then I'll be online!

I typed today's posts while waiting for my father to leave home. I have memorised my father's daily schedule just so that I could get online without getting caught and and stay for as long as possible. With his schedule, I could be online for only an hour and a half each day at most, which sucks big time, especially since my connection is as slow as snail. ♥

I miss everyone. I've no one to talk to here. Sad, sad, sad... Oh well. At least I have Quack to keep me company. ♥

In case you need another reason to keep me online other than your undying love for the duck: Weblog Wannabe is on the top 25 list of meme producers in the weblogging world. It's sitting at #9! Don't you want more of all those stupid memes? ;) Well, maybe not. ♥

Well, it looks like the Firda-Aid funds will never come through, thanks to stupid PayPal. I'm going to have Rebecca returned the funds -- all $284.58 of it (probably minus the PayPal fees) -- to all the donors. If you still want to help, you're going to have to wire it to my saving account, which is quite a hassle, so I doubt anyone would want to do that. But if that didn't discourage you, just email me and I'll let you know my bank information and account number.

I need $220 to be able to go back online and blogging again until the end of this month. To stay online for yet another month, I need to pay $400 (it's my fault, really -- I spent way too much time online last month). But I might be able to work that out if I could get back online this month. I mean, you never know. I might be able to find some magic spell that can turn the $1 I have into $400, thanks to my mad searching skillz. And I'll be sure to let you know! That's quite an investment, isn't it? Well, maybe not. I might be able to sell some designs, I might not. I'm just desperate. ♥

Angela suggested that I talked about the man of my dreams. I had written a long list of qualities that the man of my dreams should have, but then I found the list to be too tiresome, so I deleted it.

The man of my dreams doesn't need to be tall, dark, and handsome. He just needs to be a friend. A friend that I can feel comfortable with and be myself with, and to whom I can talk about anything -- anything at all -- and he will listen. A friend who will lift me up when I'm down and who has confidence in me, who believes that I could climb the highest mountain if I wanted to. A friend whose presence can make the world seem like a better place and make life feel a lot less complicated. A friend with whom I can have a long but comfortable silence.

The man of my dreams probably doesn't exist. ♥

Thursday Night Haiku

I am so hungry
Might end up eating ramen
Again and again.

Just thought you might miss the haiku :) Why don't you post your own haiku as your comment to this post? I'd love to read it when I get online on Saturday! ♥

I might not be able to get online tomorrow because my brother and sister-in-law, who are pretty much my father's spies, will be staying for the night, but hopefully I'll be able to post something on Saturday. The topic I'm going to talk about will be beauty, as suggested by Daisy. And yes, I'm still waiting for more topic suggestions. ♥

My bedroom is on the second floor of a two-storey house. I have windows on two walls of my bedroom. One window is facing the outdoor and the other is facing indoor.

The view from the outdoor window is one of the neighbours' roof tops and the sky. (Trust me, the sky is a lot more interesting than the roofs.) You can't see the street from the window because of the balcony. My mother has put all sorts of plants on the balcony. (The yellow alamanda is blooming right now. The bougainvillea hasn't bloomed for ages.) Every time I see an airplane in the sky, I would close my eyes and pretend that I'm sitting on that plane, on my way to the place where I'll be happy. Soon I would tell myself to stop dreaming because it's not going to happen and I'd end up feeling sad and depressed.

The view from the indoor window is one of the dining room and the kitchen. You can also see if the bathrooms are vacant or occupied from it. This indoor window is called "Juliet's Window". Why? Because I'm a romantic (ha!) and I like to think that someday my Romeo will come and he will recite some cheesy love poem under the window and I will exclaim, "Romeo, oh Romeo!" My mother and I like to act out that scene when we're feeling goofy, with my mother being the Romeo. I love my mother :) The window is also perfect for a suicide jump, but you don't want to know about that.

Everything is so grey out there. I think we'll have a stormy rain soon. The wind is blowing hard. The yellow alamanda is falling to the ground. ♥

My mother finally couldn't stand seeing my funky hair anymore. She sat me in front of a mirror this morning and started trimming my hair. While doing my hair, she repeatedly asked, "What have you done to your hair?" And I repeatedly answered, "It's the hair trend of 2002, Mum." It didn't make her sound any less heartbroken.

My hair is very, very short now because the only way to make it look somewhat normal was to cut it very short. I felt kind of sorry that my funky hairdo only lasted a couple of days, but oh well. Anything to make the mother happy. ♥

Um, do you think anyone would buy some classy weblog templates made by the one and only Wannabe? ;) Hey, I'm just trying to make some cold, hard cash here! I'd do anything for money to get online. Well, anything respectable anyway. Anyway, if you think it's worth trying, do let me know. Also tell me how much you'd be willing to pay for a template 'cause I don't have enough online time to do some research on it.

Oh, by the way, if you've been trying to email me but always got your email bounced back, try sending your email to firda at lemurpants dot com because firda at uberduck dot net is temporarily down. Sorry for the inconvenience. ♥

I'm going to write about what I can see from my windows if I can get online tomorrow. Thanks to Rogi for the suggestion.

Keep the topic suggestions coming, folks! ♥

I can only get online when only my mother and I are home, which is not very often. But maybe if I offer to pay the phone bill next month, my father will let me get online one or two hours day. The problem is, I have no money and PayPal still hasn't allowed Rebecca to transfer the Firda-Aid fund to me. So if you need a design done, pleasepleaseplease hire me! I won't charge much, I promise. I'll only charge enough to bribe my father to allow me use the phone line.

If you were me, do you think your father would be proud of your online achievements? Tell me I'm crazy, but I think my father should be proud of me. ♥

In Indonesian, butter is mentega, but when we say mentega, we really mean margarine. That's Indonesian to ya!

I don't really have much to say about butter except that it's not very popular here because it's more expensive and fattening than margarine. But when I think of butter, what come to my mind would be cooking.

When we're bored, my sister-in-law and I like to experiment in the kitchen and we like to think that someday we're going to have our own cooking show on TV. Not because we're good cooks, mind you, but because we're really, really bad. I mean, if bad cooks like us can cook something edible, anyone can! I don't know about you, but I find those hot shot chefs who host all those cooking shows on TV very intimidating. Of course they can make delicious stuff. They're professional, unlike most of us!

I really think that it's a brilliant idea, having some ordinary people who are not cooking professionals host a cooking show. Any TV producer wanna buy this idea? We accept major credit cards. ♥

Well, just wanted to let you know that my father found out that I've been using the phone-line-that-is-forbidden-for-any-online-activity to get online and he's not too happy about it. If you never heard from me again, that would be the reason.

Anyone want to hire me me to do some web design work and is willing to pay via snail mail (because PayPal sucks)? I desperately need some cash to get online. Sniff! ♥

I'm going to write about butter tomorrow. Matt's suggestion. And yes, I'm a crappy writer. Just shoot me.

Have any topic suggestion? ♥

Silly things people say on TV can be so inspiring sometimes.

The other day, I watched an interview with a prominent, local hairstylist. They asked him about the kind of hairstyle that was going to be trendy in 2002. He said it was one that looked the same whether we just leave a hairstylist or just wake up from our sleep.

I found his answer very inspiring. I thought to myself, hell, who needs an expensive hairstylist to get that kind of look. So I gave myself a haircut. Now my hair looks all funny, but it doesn't really bother me. If anyone cared enough to ask me about my funky hairstyle, I could always say that this is the trend of 2002.

I am so hip! :) ♥

I think all women in my family are cursed with bad relationships.

My mother regrets marrying my father. Don't ask.

My mother's only daughter (that's me) has had countless case of unrequited love and from the look of it, she'll most probably end up being a cranky old maid.

My father's only sister is married to a womaniser. He would make out with other women in front of her and she actually puts up with it. Good thing she and I aren't close or I would've told her how stupid she was for putting up with his crap.

My mother's sister #2 got a divorce last year. She was over 60 years old. I thought people didn't get divorced when they were that old. It was her fault for the most part. She tricked him into marrying her million years ago. Yes, it must've been million years ago.

My mother's sister #3 had a long-term love affair with a married man. She wisened up eventually and left him, but she's never had a relationship with any other man since. She always spends the holidays with us, which drives me nuts because she talks a bit too much for my liking.

My mother's sister #4 had a good marriage in the beginning, but it began to crumble once she got a bit too fond of money and did something stupid. She didn't get a divorce. She got a dead husband instead. Her husband died of lung cancer. He was a good man. And unlike his wife, he was always very nice to me.

My mother's sister #5 can't stop complaining about her husband. I think she'd eventually follow my mother's footstep and endure the bad marriage "for the kid's sake". If you asked me, I'd say that it's a really, really bad choice. The tension between the parents is not good for the kids. Why do you think I suffer from depression?

My mother's sister #1 is a famous food writer. She writes books. She travels the world. She lives in London. And best of all, unlike any of her sisters, she's happily married. Could it be that her marrying a white man was what broke the curse? I don't think I'll ever find out the answer. ♥

Tuesday Night Haiku

It's that time again,
Funny crazy haiku time,
This isn't funny :(

As you can see Firda was nowhere to be found to write the Tuesday haiku so I decided to take those duties upon myself. Now I'm not really sure if the sad emoticon in the last line of the haiku counts as a syllable or not. If it does then this is not a true haiku. Oh well. Emoticons are dumb anyways. I just can stop myself from using the smiley face. Have you ever noticed that the smiley is used the most out of all of the emoticons? I know I use it because I'm afraid the person I'm talking too might not realize that I am joking with them and might take what I say seriously. I'm the least serious person you know (or don't know depending on who you are). So what emoticons do you use regularly and why do you use them?

(Any spelling or grammatical errors in this entry does not reflect Ms. Beka's dedication to grammatical and spelling styles and is only the mistakes of the author who is an engineer and doesn't think spelling properly is that important) :) ♥

Monday Night Haiku

I so miss blogging
I don't know how much longer
Till I blog again.

It looks like PayPal is still giving us a hard time because I still haven't received the fund. Sniff!

Anyway, look around here for a bit and tell me what you see. Does everything look good? Ugly? Like it? Hate it? Let me know. And if it looks funky in your browser, just yell at me and throw me some screenshot as well as a working solution to the problem. It looks fine in IE5.5, but since IE5.5 is the only browser I have installed on my computer, I've no way to check it in any other browser.

This design is not finished yet. I still have to customise the comment form and Quack-O-Matic, and add the search box. But other than that, this is pretty much what you're going to have to endure for the months ahead. And please do check the site news on the right corner of this page and suggest me some topics to babble about.

Now I'm outta here. Ciao! ♥

Hi! I got online just to check my email (and found an empty inbox once again -- boohoo!), but I just thought I'd say hi.

I can't afford to be online long enough to blog, but if you know of any interesting site that you think is worth blogging, or you have any web project that could use some plugging, feel free to email the link to me and I'll consider posting it up here.

Well, gotta go. Take care and have a nice weekend! ♥

Saturday Noon Haiku
Firda is away,
No more weblog wannabe,
She will be back soon.

Since Firda asked (and I must obey) I give you the trademark Weblog Wannabe haiku of the day. Sadly the haiku is true. Firda is currently offline but she should be back soon Rebecca the Great is in charge of the Firda-Aid money and once Paypal stops being so stupid Firda will recieve the money and she will be back online. I know I'm not as witty as Firda is but she will be back soon so don't forget to check in everyday to see if she makes an appearance. I have a feeling that even this won't keep Firda from finding ways onto the Internet. She is a net-holic if you didn't know. ♥

I'm sure you can figure out which Anti-Bloggie categories I belong to *hint, hint!* ♥

Dear Guest Bloggers,

Please post something for me while I'm away.

Love, Firda ♥

The phone company has cut off my phone line so I risked my life and got online using the phone-line-that-is-forbidden-for-any-online-activity just so that I could check my email, only to find an empty inbox. Boohoo! Nobody loves me *sniff!* To make me feel better, I did a quick blogging:

Beer Goggles will come in handy if you plan to get drunk tonight.

Take a quiz: which failed dot com idea are you? Take it more than once.

Play mini golf. My connection was too slow for the game to load, but it sounds cool.

I've been redesigning so there'll be a new design here very soon. Aren't you excited? ;) I'm productive when I'm offline. Anyway, I have to say goodbye now so I'll see you when I see you! And email me, please? ♥

Friday Morning Haiku

The rain has just stopped
I still have a runny nose
I can't stop sneezing.

Haaaatchooo!!! Well, it looks like the phone company still hasn't cut off my phone line this morning. Happiness! I think they're waiting either until 10AM this morning (which is only an hour away from now) or until C.O.B.

Anyway, this here blog seems to have become the number one resource for all girl-related subjects. Here's the last few search requests that made the searchers end up here and my little advice: "ass the best girl" (huh?), "a professional guide on how to get a girl u like" (how about stop using "u" and start using "you"?), "things to say to a girl when you like her" (try "I like you"), "how to get a cute girl to like you" (you mean there's a different approach that should be used for cute girls only?), "how do i get a girl to like me" (you're so sweet, I like you already), and "sweet things to say to a girl" (anything that is thoughtful and doesn't insult her intelligence would sound sweet). More as I found them.

I think I'd better post this before they cut off my phone line. ♥

Bye for now! I'll still check my email occasionally so feel free to write. Also, send me a postcard! And don't stop leaving comments!

BTW, would anyone be interested in taking Quack to SXSW? Let me know. ♥